Who’s the first person that comes to mind when you think about Winnipeg Jets fans?
Probably Jesse Pollock. Maybe you have other Jets fans in your life, but we don’t think anyone has turned liking a team into literally their entire personality and career, even, like Jesse has. Good for him! Also kind of weird, though. Definitely not normal.
Whoever’s out there reading this, we promise you that you don’t care about your hockey team as much as Jesse cares about his. There’s no way that all these things are also true about you. If they are, you might want to take a look in the mirror and reconsider some things in life.
You don’t support a player the way Jesse supports Patrik Laine
Everyone has a favourite player on their favourite team, but nobody is ride-or-die like Jesse for Patrik Laine. Through the ups and downs of Laine’s Jets career, Jesse was there for his guy — and we love that! It’s great to support a player like that.
But how many people stay loyal to that player even after they get traded to an entirely different team, not to mention through all of the wild scoring swings that Laine has experienced over the last few years?
And we promise you, no matter how much you think you like your favourite player, you probably don’t like that player enough to go to the heart of downtown Toronto — maybe hockey’s most hostile atmosphere — to say that your guy’s better than theirs.
He keeps sending us photos like these every time the Jets lose
Honestly, pretty funny, but yeah, also really strange.
Jesse has written more songs about the Jets than we can remember
Anyone can be a hockey fan, but Jesse has a whole discography about his Jets fandom. He isn’t even that good of a singer! He just likes the Jets that much.
He will literally hijack meetings to talk about the Jets
Please Jesse. Nobody wants to be in meetings for longer than they have to be. We’re begging you, stop saying YEAH BUT THE JETS ARE BETTER every single time another hockey team is mentioned in a work meeting.
He met Teemu Selanne, which was honestly really cool, but then he had to make it weird
Come on, man. You know how hard it is to get NHL legends into the office? Let’s try and keep it together. It’s awesome when you get to meet players you idolized growing up, and you would get to meet a lot more of them if you don’t do things like this.
How many other things can you say about Jesse, anyway?
Like, when we say rooting for the Jets is Jesse’s whole personality, we mean his WHOLE personality. What else is there to say about Jesse? He likes to work out. He has his own vocabulary for things like “squid” and “loaf” and “jibs,” speaking of which, he has massive jibs and makes way too much noise while eating his food. (And forgets to mute himself on Zoom all the time. Thanks, Jesse.)
That’s great and all, but can you name like even five other things about Jesse, other than as that dude who everyone knows for liking the Jets?
